to say....

I love you so, so much.  You're who I think about first and last in the course of a day, and many times in between.  I see your face in my mind, and become so exhiliarated it's hard to equate your person with the notion of death.  All I ever saw when I looked at you was life, even throughout all your suffering.  Even in the hospital with a tube in your nose, I felt a beautiful vitality surge through me when I looked into your green eyes.

I want to kiss you again... God it seems like an eternity since I did.  Now that you can see all my imperfections and faults, I'm sure I seem anything but sexy to you.  I don't know how often you're with me, or how often I even cross your mind, but I think I'm doing enough loving right now for the both of us. 

I want you under my skin, I want to be there where you are.  I want to bask in the glory of who you were and still are, somewhere away from here.  Just you.  You you you, all in me and over me and through me, and I wish more than anything I were a spirit too so I could see the world through your eyes right now.  I'm not afraid of dying.  I'm not afraid of being desperately ill, because both of those things would bring me closer to you.

Please don't fade away.  Don't let the rift of time and memory break my connection with you.

I entreat, may it not be so.